27 is here

Today I turn 27 and the day is always bittersweet. I'm happy to be another year older and don't fear the approaching 3 - 0 as many do. What's makes it bittersweet is that someone isn't here to celebrate with me. In 2007, my mom died from an extremely aggressive version of cervical cancer. She was my idol, my hero, my best friend. And so on this day, I'm spending the day at home by myself with the kitties, baking for an event on Sunday, remembering her life, and feeling thankful she brought me into this world.

I'm glad today is quiet. I'm going to test out two new types of cupcakes: Cookies n' Creme and Peaches n' Cream. It's another test of my willpower over sweets! I've lost another pound this week and am down by 17 since starting, so I'll just keep reminding myself that fitting into those jeans and that skirt and that blazer are WAY more worth it than scarfing down a cupcake.

Yesterday, I took off work and treated myself to a haircut in the morning and then walked around the city with J. We went into LeRoux Kitchen, an amazing kitchen supply store in the Old Port. While there, we did buy a little Taza Chocolate that was salted almond and I stowed it away in my purse. Taza Chocolate is incredible and if you haven't tried it, you need to. It comes as a small circle and although it looks and feels like a dense chunk of chocolate, it tastes incredibly airy and light. Then we walked around a bit more and started feeling hungry by 1:30, so we went over to the Portland Public Market and visited our friends at Granny's Burrito, Kamasouptra, and Market House Coffee. Whenever I visit the Public Market, I try to spread my wealth around by purchasing something small from several vendors. So for lunch we shared a burrito filled with peanut tofu, rice, lettuce, and hot sauce from Granny's, a small cup of vegan chili from Kamasouptra, and a pineapple coconut water from Market House Coffee. It was certainly a larger lunch than we're accustomed to and I was glad we'd skipped both our morning and afternoon snacks. We also spent the good part of the day walking at a good pace - I'm guessing we walked 5-6 miles by the time we were done.

It's all about balance! My coworker says it's simple, "Calories in must be equal to or less than calories out." I think it's important to celebrate things once in a while and to not deprive ourselves of things forever because that is exactly what causes me to fall off the weight loss wagon.

So for dinner last night we had a very very light dinner of 1/2 cup of brown rice over arugula with 1/2 cup of shiitakes and a wedge of lime squirted on top. We followed dinner by a few bites of the Taza chocolate and then ran some errands for my day of baking today. After returning home, we were both hungry. Stomach grumbling hungry. So I suggested we make some Ginger-Lime Hummus and have a little with some carrot and bell pepper sticks. It totally did the trick and I'm pretty sure Ginger-Lime Hummus is our new favorite flavor!

Tonight, J's taking me out for a birthday dinner at the Green Elephant - my favorite restaurant. We've already talked about the idea of getting an appetizer to split and then sharing one entree so that portion sizes are smaller. Green Elephant makes vegetarian and vegan food and it's wonderfully fresh and elegant. I'm excited :) J's birthday present to me is a two night stay in Camden, Maine next weekend and I'm super excited about that!

Since 2006, I've thought my birthday was "cursed." In 2006 and 2007, my mom was re-diagnosed with cancer once on my birthday, once the day before. In 2008, we were told my grandmother (my mom's mother) going to die from cancer just days before my birthday. So I've had trouble celebrating these last few years, no wonder. But I'm going to move past the past and look to the future. A future filled with healthy happiness and a celebration of the strong and beautiful women who helped shape me into the woman I am today.